Our own war-

About a month ago I battled acne.
About 2 months ago I battled heartbreak.

Both are equally painful, and earth- shattering, if you asked me. Both left me with less confidence to face the world, but work kept me going (as I can't take a week off just because I had an acne party on my face, or a heartbreak warfare in my heart) and Allah is really with those with torn hearts (Hadith Qudsi).

What did you do? Your skin looks better now !
How did you do it? You look happier now !

It is no secret, really. I worked hard at mending, both my skin and my heart. I use proper skincare and eat healthily, avoid stuffs that could give me breakout, I drink a lot of water.

I accepted that he was not the one for me, moved on, prayed that I meet someone else who is not only better, but best for me, avoided stuffs that could break my heart again (I forbade my brain to even think about him, and my heart to even say his name, or check whatever he puts online).


No, no. I am not making him my enemy. Now that I am better now, we're friends again. He is just, well, as Gotye puts it, somebody that I used to know.

People around me told me that I am strong. It is a fact not unknown to me. I know I am stronger than most people I know. And I only have Allah to thank for that. 

I guess the key to battle anything is to have strong willpower.

If you want to be happy, be. - Leo Tolstoy

I am happiest I have ever been now, all praises go to Allah the Most Merciful, and besides whom there is none worthy of worship.

Hati kita milik Allah. 

I pray that you all will have stronger willpower to battle your own wars, and come out as survivors.

Perfect weekend

I had such a lovely weekend masha Allah :) It was filled with love, laughter, friends, food, games, activities, oh my goodness I have not been that happy in a long time ! Did not get much sleep but it is all for good reasons.

It's 3.25pm on a Sunday now and I am in the office. Not complaining (much).

Seventh heaven

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

As most of you have known, I have started covering my aurah recently. I am still not used to it, but in time I will, insha Allah. People around me have started to look and treat me differently, with more respect if I may add, colleagues at work have stopped touching me, and I them. The workers at any shop would mutter their salaam when I pass by, and I really enjoy that. It makes my day, every day.

This is only the beginning masha Allah, I have so many things to learn, I am still not praying 5 times a day like I am obliged to, but I am getting there. It's almost Ramadhan.

And as most of you have known, I had a breakup recently. Masha Allah did it shatter me ! I was looking for all the wrong reasons in a guy, when I really should be looking for someone who would not only be good for my dunya, but also for my jannah. He was a good guy, but not good enough for me. I am so glad it was over when it did, (though back then I didn't see it yet) but Allah loves me more than I love Him.

I remember few months ago I prayed, that if he was the one for me, make it easy for us to be together, and if he is not the one for me (this includes my jannah, too) then make us apart. Little did I know, Allah answered to my prayers ! Alhamdulellah ya Allah :)

I used to look at him and sadness would grow in my heart, I thought I was missing something/ someone very valuable and worth keeping. I used to love him dearly it broke me when we ended. But now, when I look at him, all I could see is a guy, whom I have loved and have loved me back, but will never bring me towards His jannah. Now, I am not even sure he would bring me happiness in dunya, let alone in hereafter. I think I was in love with the idea of love. What wrong reasons to love !

If you knew me personally, you might think that I am crazy? But isn't this dunya merely a journey home? To our jannah?

We were made in Jannah. We were made for Jannah.

This is simply our journey to our final home, inshallah.

I am writing this not to brag, but to share, and if you're having a hard time, remember ;

Do not let difficulties fill you with anxiety; after all, it is only in the darkest nights that the starts shine more brilliantly. - Ali Ibn Abi Taalib (RA)

I pray that whoever that is reading this will be well, that if you are hurt then I pray that you will heal, and I pray that Allah strengthen our imaan and reward us abundantly.

I will write again soon, insha Allah.

I am happy and it scares me.

Maybe she was looking in all the wrong places. After all, he was just a dunya guy, he would give her the happiness of the dunya for just a few day, weeks, months maybe and then they would never be the ‘happily ever after couple’ like Muhammad sallallahu alyhe wa sallam and Khadijah radi Allah hu Anha.

For she realized that a bond made for the sake of the dunya lacked the basic crucial ingredient: the barakah of Allah. If she started a relationship which wasn’t blessed by Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala, she would ruin her entire life for the man who looked so charming but whose heart was attached to the dunya.

She was concerned about her future progeny and she decided that she didn’t want to raise up her future children oblivious and ignorant of Islam. She decided that she’d look at his deen, his character and his ikhlaq, for if those qualities in him were well grounded, he would turn into the greatest blessing of her life - her better half.

With all the traffic of thoughts in her mind, she came across a verse in the Quran which lay open in her hands and the verse she saw made her cry and she made sincere dua from her heart and decided that she wanted her better half to be someone who would hold her hand, help bring the Sunnah and Shariah in her life, take her out for ice-cream, help solve all her problems and when he couldnt he would be just a good listener and also he would take her to jannah. The verse she read was:

One of His signs is that He created for you spouses of your own species, so that you might find comfort with them. And He put mutual love and affection in your hearts. Surely in this there are lessons for the thinking people.” [30:21]

Hafez

There are different wells within your heart.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far too deep for that.

In one well
You have just a few precious cups of water,
That "love" is literally something of yourself,
It can grow as slow as a diamond
If it is lost.

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a
Stranger,
Only to someone
Who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

There are different wells within us.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far, far too deep
For that.

Help

I have nice hair. That is a fact. If you've met me, you'd agree.

I get compliments every day about it, but somehow getting compliments about my hair makes me very very sad. I am not supposed to show it around and parade it to non- mahram men and women.

Now I refuse to post up pictures of me not covering up. But I don't wear headscarves to work, yet. I don't have enough to start.. Next week insha Allah.

This Friday my bestfriend is getting married, and I don't have proper and suitable headscarves to wear with my attires. I do not want to be in the pictures with my bare head, as pictures will last forever.